Exclusive Interview With
Topmost Global Scholar
Prof.Nincompoop PhD
The Globe-trotter Prof,
set to win Noball Prize for omni-knowledge anytime for his erudition, hypocrisy
unlimited and wonderful capacity for turncoat-ism, has blessed us in The Eldorado
Expose with time for a freewheeling discussion on 25 July,
the red-letter-day in the history of human knowledge and which is also his
birthday, when the world began to get rid of ignorance with the emergence of
the solar-son. Human race is grateful to the Hypo-God for sending this saviour
who was greeted in the cradle by three idiots and whose prayer for his
immortality was granted by the God we worship now. The Excerpt:
The Expose : Prof. Nincompoop, you’re hailed worldwide for
your ignorant-knowledge and the Make-Believe University has been flooded with letters of appreciation from
universities far and wide for awarding the PhD for your omni-knowledge and
Himalayan Ignorance. How do you feel Mr. Brilliant?
Prof: Well, I
don’t care. You see, I’m everything, be it ignorance or be it
omni-knowledge.Rether I am had giervance for the lateness in the Awared.If the
professor wife of an professor feirend of myne at the estoopidity eunivarcity
of aoar repooblic deed not discovord mai wondorfool noleze, I deed nat no wat
kud hepon.
The Expose : We understand
your grievance is genuine, you being a nincompoop.
Prof: Junoon eu telled? Eat ish uper junoon.Eu no, dey form
de Hobard eunivarcity gife mi – wat eat ish- too righting e garamar diconsary
for mai supper noleze in Lengatistiksh.
The Expose: We know Dr.Nincompoop PhD, Noam Chomsky would like to appreciate
your wonderful knowledge in Linguistics. You are gifted, indeed.
Prof: Eu deed nat no, de sand a teem of enthoropliks wit a
porpozal too estudi viomodikol espokt of enthoropoji.I telled dem I am mad
bizi.
The Expose: That’s right Dr. Nincompoop, we understand. We feel we
should not eat away your valuable time. We have many things to understand from you.
One thing more, Sir. We have come to know, meanwhile, His Majesty and Her
Majesty asked you to grace them dining in the Foyal Palace next Friday.
Prof: Eu aar
ebusulootly rite, mai feirend (with a wide smile). I heb hanged a shineboot
acorosh de gait ov mai racidance: Hire lif Daktar Porfeshur.Nincompoop PhD,
Toppermosh Golobal EScolor. Mai nibarsh
suloot de aboot.
The Expose: Thanks sir, for
slicing your valuable time for us.
Prof: Woolkum
for selising.
Editor: The interview is audio-recorded. We have tried to
retain the pronunciation of Prof. Nincompoop PhD.
