DESIRE
( A Story )
She is 25, and a mother of two.She conceived first when she was 13.It was a girl,and not
a love-child, though a fruit of marital sex.She was ambitious adolescent of a decayed
feudal family of Chapramari in Alipurduar. She was married against her will at 13 to a man aged 27, and she was made to conceive within a week. She could not like the man for he was lazy and beastly.
She told she was attacked by political goondas.They burnt down the shanty ashram she built with administrative help . A journalist friend told me her story. One summer forenoon, she came to his office, face bruised and swollen; she came with her children Joya(12) & Bapi(10). She told political goondas have burnt to ashes her shanty ashram for destitute women around midnight a couple of days ago.
‘Ashram! Why? ’
‘I am left alone.’
‘Your husband? ’
‘He has another woman.’
‘Then?’
‘I chose my own way. Sought help from SDO Saheb.’ He told me of government projects for women like
me.”
‘How could you make your own project?’
‘SDO saheb advised me, helped me. I collected 9 more women from around to launch the project.’
‘9 more women!’
‘There are many women like me in our area & around. Women are wretched.’
Why goondas attack the ashram?
They exploit destitute women when they are alone. They sexually abuse them and sell them to brothels.
There are several cases.Last month two girls were rescuced from a Pune brothel and brought back to
Shalmari, not far away from Chapramari.The girls named three political goondas who have since been
arrested.
‘So you tried to protect yourself against destitution and sexual exploitation?’
And they would not like it. They felt, they had lost their scope to plough as many as ten fertile, saleable,
enjoyable women. They would not allow that to continue.
Did not you go to your Panchayet Pradhan?
‘I did. He grinned. Told his henchman to give me Rs.50 and said, ‘I will see.’
Did he do anything?
How can you think so? Do you think the goondas can exist without support from such people? We cannot
believe.
Well, we shall file a report on the attack on your ashram, promised my friend and offered her a hundred
rupee note.
She thanked for the promise with two drops of tears rolling off her vacant eyes down the bruised cheeks.
With folded hands she turned down the offer of the financial help. She left with a request to
secure for her a job at Siliguri saying she knew sewing.
My friend had asked her where she would stay.
‘At the Rail station,’ replied she, indifferently.
He told her to come after a couple of days.
My friend pondered over what the women related about her plight and that of nine others. Her courage and strength against odds astonished him. He decided he should do something for the destitute mother, bright with
the strength of an amazing personality. She is not a feminist but does have the sense of independence and self-confidence. These aspects of her inspired my friend to help her out.
He checked as far as possible and reasonable the information she left. Alipurduar police confirmed the destruction caused to the ashram and said no arrest was made. The SDO confirmed the ashram was set up on vest land allotted for the purpose with the central fund granted for the project. The report appeared in his paper the next day. She was excited. At the Siliguri Junction Railway Platform while Joya & Bapi were still asleep, she felt like running to my friend as she had read the story on the front page. She did not. She remembered she had been told to meet him after two days. So, she should see him only the next day.
Joya & Bapi find their mother in a happy mood. They are hungry yet happy to share the mother’s momentary jovial mood writ large in her oval face, marked with injuries.
Abandoned by husband, burdened with two children, she struggles against hunger and lust of scoundrels. She is beautiful in her struggle and her jest for life. Her eyes and body language tell something of her desire to have a man of her choice.
The next day at noon she revisited my friend. He had already procured a job for her at a tailor’s shop. He gave her a letter & advised her to join forthwith. She smiled and went away. After an hour the tailor master over telephone confirmed my friend that she had joined. The tailor master arranged for her accommodation, too. Report on her work and behaviour at the place of work was satisfactory. She would visit my friend once a week. After about a month & a half one day she told she would go to her aunt at Moinaguri for a week and the tailor master allowed her leave. She did not visit him for several weeks. The tailor master reported her absence after the leave period. My friend felt let down.On enquiry he came to know from the tailor master that she had not stolen anything and had paid the rent of the room whereshe lived in. My friend was relieved. Days went by and she was forgotten.
One morning at 11 when my friend was at work the telephone on the table rang . He picked up the receiver as usual and said ‘Hello!’
The caller said, Jyotsna speaking, Dada
‘Which Jyotsna?’
‘The one you helped.’
‘I am busy, don’t disturb.’
‘Please Dada, I have something to say.’
‘Hell with it.’
He dropped the receiver, perturbed.
But she would not leave at that. In a week one Monday morning she arrived at the office, alone, fresh and tidy in dress. The bearer told my friend a lady would like to see him. After sometime he went downstairs to the visitors’ corner to see the lady. It was that Jyotsna again. She prostrated and touched his feet. He reluctantly sat down face to face with her and ordered a cup of tea.
‘So, why have you come?’
‘Joya has been put to the orphanage at Cooch-Behar.’
‘It is good.’
‘And Bapi is admitted at Moinaguri Junior High School in class five. He is with my aunt.’
‘Now you are free to move about.’
‘Dada, I love you.’
‘Try to love your children.’
‘I also fear you.’
‘So, you have come to tell all these nonsense.’
‘Nonsense!’
‘Go and tell these to scoundrels. That will pay.’
‘How can I make you understand I hate scoundrels?’
What prompted you to leave the job? To show the scoundrels we can fight back.
‘Where do you get money for traveling and maintaining yourself?
‘I have a fat fund left by my father in a bank.’ She showed him the pass book and said ‘I would like to keep it with you.’
‘Why?’
‘I would be able to meet you every month.’
‘I don’t like to see you. You are not a good woman.’
‘But I love you, believe me!’
‘Leave me, let me go.’
He returned to his table and she went away.
My friend was taken aback. He could not at once decide whether the woman really loved him as a benefactor or he had become the object of her lust.
The next week she again came to his office but he did not meet her. She went off and made a call from a PCO booth. He picked up and answered. She requested an appointment. This time he could not turn down the request. He told her to come one Sunday. He knew he would be off that day. He thought if she came and she would understand she was unwanted. She did not fail to turn up in time. The reception told her he was off on Sunday. With head down and face gloomy she went away. The next morning at to 11 she was in the office, requested the receptionist to tell him. Informed he came down to meet her. Of course, he was annoyed. At the same time he could not but appreciate her tenacity.
She was desperate. She was determined to tell him what she had not been able to tell.
How are you?
You are cruel.
Why?
You dodged me yesterday.
Why do you come?
Out of love.
Love your children.
That I do. But I need your love.
Okay, I love you.
Would you give me a seed?
He was taken aback. The suggestion is loud and clear. He could not ever think she could aspire to such a thing as seed. Seductive girl, he said to himself., what do you mean? he asked.
Would you plant a seed in me?
You naughty girl?
She understood she could strike a chord.
You have two children. Why do you need more? Is it possible for you to bring up three?
I need a child fathered by a bright and good man like you.
But it would be unwanted!
Vis-à-vis the potential truth she bowed. She had her cup of tea in quick sips. With head down she left the office with the truth ringing in her mind- it would be a bastard. The next day she telephoned my friend to share the wisdom that dawned on her: Every desire does not get fulfilled.Yet you can fight the scoundrels,
She asserted, confident
